Thomas Wendell (TW) Thompson, the eccentric billionaire, was unable to be stabilized prior to being be cryonically suspended. According to the Life Extension Center, Mr. Thompson continued to take baby aspirin against advisement and subsequently bleed internally. TW made his fortune with derivatives by finagling credit with insurance schemes, the true weapons of mass destruction. Services will be held at an undisclosed abbey in Switzerland.
KiKi Palmer passed over to greener pastures where buffalo roam and deer and antelope play. Ironic since she hated the outdoors. KiKi is survived by her brother, Arthur, who came to her home every Sunday for the past forty years to enjoy a Manhattan. They usually ordered a pizza. Neither brother nor sister had married. According to KiKi, marriage was archaic. Two bull dogs, Sweet Pea and Cornelius, are available for adoption at the K-9 Rescue.