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Obits 4 Fun

Thomas Wendell (TW) Thompson, the eccentric billionaire, was unable to be stabilized prior to being be cryonically suspended. According to the Life Extension Center, Mr. Thompson continued to take baby aspirin against advisement and subsequently bleed internally. TW made his fortune with derivatives by finagling credit with insurance schemes, the true weapons of mass destruction. Services will be held at an undisclosed abbey in Switzerland.

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