Proud centenarian, Lillian Farnsworth, passed into the open arms of the Lord on Tuesday. Lillian, dearly loved by the staff at the Good Shepard Adult Home, was their media mascot. When asked what was the secret to living a long life, she said, "How the f__k would I know." Her interviews were often edited. At the time of passing, she was eating Cheetos in the game room when B6 was called out. Her last word was "Bingo!"
KiKi Palmer passed over to greener pastures where buffalo roam and deer and antelope play. Ironic since she hated the outdoors. KiKi is survived by her brother, Arthur, who came to her home every Sunday for the past forty years to enjoy a Manhattan. They usually ordered a pizza. Neither brother nor sister had married. According to KiKi, marriage was archaic. Two bull dogs, Sweet Pea and Cornelius, are available for adoption at the K-9 Rescue.