Counter-culture poet, Charles Richard Bean, died yesterday. In 1972, Mr. Bean made headline news after he was denied tenure at the University of Buffalo, set up a tent on the grounds, and went on a hunger strike for two weeks. It was later revealed, a number of coeds were dropping off food and hallucinogens late at night. It was the two best weeks of his life. In his later years, Mr. Bean became a photographer. He is credited with the phrase "wat up wit dat?"
KiKi Palmer passed over to greener pastures where buffalo roam and deer and antelope play. Ironic since she hated the outdoors. KiKi is survived by her brother, Arthur, who came to her home every Sunday for the past forty years to enjoy a Manhattan. They usually ordered a pizza. Neither brother nor sister had married. According to KiKi, marriage was archaic. Two bull dogs, Sweet Pea and Cornelius, are available for adoption at the K-9 Rescue.